Everyday Care

I Think, Therefore I Am

“I’m not a runner.” I have said this phrase countless times throughout my life, usually in response to a friend who was telling me about their marathon training or as I was nervously staring down yet another Presidential Fitness Test in grade school where we were required to run a mile. “Oh, I could never do that,” I would comment followed by a list of excuses about why running was never in the cards for me. For decades, I had this strong belief that running just wasn’t my thing. Had I actually trained to run? Had I seriously tried it? No! Absolutely not! And why would I? I had already made up my mind that me and running would never get along. It wasn’t until a good friend of mine (who had just run the NYC marathon) quickly responded to me after I had commented that I could never do what she just did. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, “Actually, yes you can. But you have to believe it. And it takes work.”

The Battle of the Mindsets

How you view yourself and your abilities can determine everything. We are creatures of habit, and so when we form beliefs about who we are, what our skills are, our personalities, or our intelligence, we like to look for evidence to support our beliefs. I mean, who doesn’t like to be right? Researcher Carol Dweck has dedicated her work towards answering the questions of why people do (or don’t) succeed, and what is within their control to manifest their success. It turns out, the way we think about things and the mindset we adopt has a huge impact on our resiliency and ability to achieve our goals.

Someone with a growth mindset believes that they can improve in their abilities, and that this will take hard work and help from other people. It will also require them to be a beginner- to not be good at something for a while, and commit to putting in the work to improve rather than quitting early. Simply put, the growth mindset is based on the belief that someone can cultivate qualities through effort. That we each differ initially in our talents, interests, or temperaments, but that everyone can change and grow if they apply themselves and seek out experience.

Someone with a fixed mindset believes just that- that their qualities are unchangeable, that challenges should be avoided, and that any effort to change something about themselves is useless. They have already decided who they are and how the world works, and have no desire to change their mind. It is the calling card of those who will shrug their shoulders, mumble “I am who I am,” and then continue on the same worn out path they have always walked.

How to Develop a Growth Mindset

“Why waste time proving over and over how great you are… when you could be getting better?” – Carol Dweck

We could all benefit from adopting a growth mindset, and fortunately there are ways that you can cultivate this to ensure you become more successful, more resilient, and more adaptable. Here are a few tips that I’ve uncovered to help you get there:

• Know what mindset you’re using, and then make a choice. We all have that fixed mindset voice in our heads that is telling us we shouldn’t be bothering with something. For me, it was “You are not a runner. Don’t even try.” And you could certainly stop at that voice and stay stuck when it comes up. But what if you talked back using a growth mindset voice instead? Simply taking that pause and shifting your thinking can add up over time. If you do it enough, it can even shift the neural networks in your brain. So, when my fixed mindset about running comes up, I might say “I am a beginner in running, and it would be hard, but I want to try.”
• Adopt the mentality that you’re not where you want to be… yet. The most optimal place to be in order to improve your performance in any given area is just outside of your comfort zone. This is also known as deliberate practice, and some of the best athletes, performers, musicians, etc. are always existing in this space. In her TED Talk, Dweck succinctly shared the difference between the two mindsets here: “Are you not smart enough to solve it… or have you just not solved it yet.”
• Embrace the setbacks that life throws at you. Life is messy, and we’re not perfect. There will be peaks and valleys no matter how much we try to avoid them. When we allow our failures to define us, we have already lost. Failure is definitely painful, but it is also such a rich opportunity for growth. In fact, it’s necessary in order to grow. From a growth mindset, failure becomes something to face, deal with, and learn from, rather than another barrier on our road to self-improvement.

Putting it Into Practice

I suspect, if you are anything like me, that you avoid whenever possible the experience of being “bad” at something. The curse of perfectionism has blocked many paths for me until I started learning how to embrace being a beginner a bit more. As for me, I’m happy to report that I have started an outdoor running program- my first running program ever. And while my endurance definitely needs work, and I am by no means the fastest, one thing I can say is that I am proud that I am trying.

How about you? What are you willing to try?